The end of the year seems to lend itself well to a time of reflecting on what has been and what is to come. Yet research consistently shows that setting New Year's Resolutions usually ends in the resolutions being abandoned. Almost half of resolutions set don't make it to the end of January.
(Here's a blog post from last year that talks about the stats and what you can do to beat them: https://fisher.osu.edu/blogs/leadreadtoday/why-most-new-years-resolutions-fail)
This post will not give you a step-by-step on how to succeed. Those of you who know me know that giving you the definitive answer on anything is just not my style. I will, however, share some thoughts that have helped me make positive changes in my own life. Musings that may offer you some ideas and thoughts to try on in your life.
A number of years ago a dear cousin and friend posted something she had started at the beginning of the year and continued throughout the year. I loved her idea and adapted it for myself that next year. I gave myself lots of permission to play around with how it might work and extended myself grace on days when it didn't go well.
I decided that each day I would write down 3 things that I was thankful for in a phone note. It could be any 3 things - they didn't need to be new and different each day, just things that I was genuinely thankful for. At the end of the year I reviewed my list to see what the recurring themes were. I set a calendar reminder for each morning (I have found the strategy of reminders that send me emails to be effective for how my brain sorts and processes). I quickly realized that I am not a morning person and was thankful for very little before my first cup of coffee. So I moved the reminder to a time later in the day when I might be able to connect with more thankful thoughts and emotions.
At the end of the year, I could see themes of relationship, nature, and creativity. It was a really wonderful experience and truly the first time I had set an intention and followed through on it. I deliberately called it an intention rather than a resolution. An intention felt like something I wanted to do rather that a resolution, which felt more like a rule or a have-to.
I decided that year that at the beginning of each year I would take on something to try for a year. I would offer myself much grace and compassion and allow myself to observe whether it was something I found useful or not, rather than demanding of myself that I achieve it.
One year, it was to walk each day. One year it was to read several times a year. One year it was to journal. Some endeavours were met with more success than others. Some, like walking every day, became part of my regular routine. Others fell to the wayside, either because they weren't a good fit or just weren't a good fit for that season.
Last year my intention was to blog more regularly. As my husband described it, "You went from nothing to something, and that's something!" Throughout they year, I set weekly reminders to post. Each email sat in my inbox. Some of them resulted in blog posts. Writing has been something that has brought me joy in the past, but has taken a back seat for the past several decades. Moving from nothing to something felt like an accomplishment!
Partway through the year, my social media savvy daughter challenged me to start giving voice to some of my thoughts in more than just writing and to start a podcast. Again, with lots of grace and compassion, I decided to give it a try. My podcasting efforts have also gone from nothing to something. Once again, success!
As I reflect on writing and speaking this past year, I know that I would like to take both the blogging and podcasting into the next year with me as well. Perhaps the focus will be on "from something to more of something."
As my husband and I were walking and talking about this today, he shared some thoughts from the project management world. He talked at doing a "Sprint Retrospective." This is something that is done at the end of each sprint (of which a project may have many) where teams take time to reflect on:
Things to keep doing
Things to start doing
Things to stop doing
It seemed like a fitting thought to add to this post. As you move into 2024, take some time to think about what you are already doing that you'd like to keep doing or do more of. Think about something small and doable that you'd like to start doing. And ask yourself if there is anything you are doing that you'd like to stop doing.
If you decide that you'd like to add writing to your life, here are some resources I have come across recently that you might find helpful:
A free online workshop by grief expert David Kessler called "Discover the Healing Power of Writing Through Grief and Trauma." Offered on January 9, 2024 - free replay will be sent to those who register: https://www.davidkesslertraining.com/writing-event?fbclid=IwAR1wVVS58euDPOTyiDU6hpGJtD8kwpyGpea-DAdILvJGSQUO_0WkpLbIbHo_aem_AR8YS7x5zylo__DCAA_yFw0aIHmYE2ewS-faY9PvoSwfmMLiLDRUNvdAUZ9gjKSepzkOFUKRsFXetesBQnpFICmL&utm_medium=paid&utm_source=fb&utm_id=6557972772267&utm_content=6558029038067&utm_term=6558029039267&utm_campaign=6557972772267
"A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self by Rachel Astor, author. Available at a pay-what-you-want rate of $25, $45, or $70. "This 52-week course...will allow you to explore a fuller, richer understanding of yourself, all while documenting your thoughts and experiences." https://www.dailyom.com/courses/a-year-of-writing-to-uncover-the-authentic-self
As you move into 2024, may your year be filled with grace and compassion and intentionality.
Thanks for joining me on my journey!
~ Haide