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What do we do with problematic holidays? Nurturing thoughts on Valentine's Day

Days of celebration, whether they are Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter, Christmas, or any one of the many other days can be such a mix of emotions for people. For some people these truly are enjoyable and wonderful days with many positive emotional associations. However, for others, these days can be filled with pain, anger, confusion, and disappointment, to name a few emotions.


Valentine’s Day is one of those days. It can be such a commercial, expectation-filled day. It can also be a day filled with emotions, both enjoyable and painful. It can be a joy-filled day for some, and a reminder of the lost relationships or of loved ones who have passed (parents, partners, children) for others. For those whose loved one has passed, this day can be just one more painful reminder of how significantly their life has changed. For some, it may also be a reminder of the love that wasn’t received or experienced, whether the loved one is alive or not. For others, the loneliness they experience in their significant relationship can be highlighted as they see positive and happy posts from their connections and from advertisers.


Every year, I approach this day with caution. I try to remember that for some, this day is a day of sorrow and pain. I also try to keep in mind the people in my circle who might need an extra little bit of encouragement on this day and try to reach out as I am able. But maybe most importantly of all, I remind myself of the core message of Valentine’s Day – that of nurturing relationship.


Keeping this core message of connection in view helps me figure out where to invest my energy and what to ignore. My kids love receiving some of their favourite chocolate or candy in their Valentine’s Day stockings (sewn one year when I apparently had an abundance of creativity and energy 😊 ), so that is my focus for them this year. My husband really enjoys his taekwondo class and has had to miss quite a few lately, so my gift to him is to free him to go enjoy his class on Valentine’s Day evening. I will likely make a few phone calls and send texts to some of the other people in my life. Sometimes I have energy to pick up flowers for someone who I think might particularly need encouragement. I do those things to nurture my relationships. And, frankly, I do them on other days of the year as well. And I do them on Valentine’s Day specifically for those who might need them most.

So, whether you are currently in a significant relationship or not, you can choose to make today a day when you nurture those relationships and friendships closest to you. Which relationships in your life need nurturing and attention? A good friend, your children, a family member, your significant other? Valentine's Day is a reminder of the value we need to place on relationships throughout the year, not just on one day.


Wishing you a day of nurturing special relationships.

~ Haide

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