So much about life feels like it's about learning balance.
My husband and I just got back from 2 weeks away. We knew it was necessary. We knew we were looking forward to it. However, only once we actually got there did I realize how worn down I was feeling.
I work very hard to keep a healthy balance in my life. Yet, I also am a person who has a high capacity to take on life. Perhaps having a more limited capacity would require me to be more aware than I am. Having a high-capacity just means that I often struggle to not push myself too much and too far.
On about day 10 of our vacation in what I usually call my happy place, I realized that I hadn’t had my usual surge of energy that comes after a few days of freedom from responsibility and schedule. It took 10 days this time.
I work really hard as a counsellor to do what I say and to take good care of my own mental health. The length of time required for me to start finding my equilibrium again really caught me off guard.
So I did what I do best… I talked, I wrote, I self-assessed, and I came up with an action plan!
I have lots of amazing supports in my life:
I see a personal counsellor
I see a professional supervisor and work with a supervision group where I am supported and encouraged by a group of counsellors
I walk regularly, both by myself and with family and friends
I take part in fun activities such as singing in a female barbershop chorus and attending craft nights
I meet with a women’s group to read and watch and discuss topics and do life together
Yet even with all these wonderful things, I realized I have had less energy than usual. So my plan of action is as follows:
Meet with my personal counsellor and talk about how things are going, allow her to speak wisdom into what she is observing about my life, and be willing to do continued self-assessment
Get more sleep!
Say no to a few extra things just for a while, even if they are good things that I actually enjoy!
Talk to my family doctor and make sure that he is aware of where I’m at and can continue to monitor my well-being
Get out into nature for a longer hike at least once per week
I often let my clients know that I am not an expert on anyone other than myself. I know I have insights, good questions, and ideas that I can offer clients, but ultimately the process of change is in their hands. And the wisdom to know what suggestions and thoughts fit is also theirs to uncover.
However, I can lead by example. When my mind and body tell me “too much,” that is an opportunity to re-assess and to make small changes that make what I do sustainable.
I love my clients and I regularly feel so honoured that people allow me to share in their journey! My commitment to my clients is that I am there for them, that I create a safe place for them to see the way through in their own lives. And my commitment to them also involves me doing the same for myself so that I can be fully present and helpful when I am with them.
During Covid I learned that how I do what I do is by making sure I have regular times away. Sometimes these times away are to the ocean where I can listen to the calming crashing of the waves, sometimes they are to warm places where I can bask in the sun, and sometimes it is just to somewhere quiet where I can write, read, and take photos.
Thinking back to my two weeks away, the moments I was the happiest was when we were hiking along trails, through forests, along rocky paths – just being in nature and discovering new paths. So one of the most significant commitments I have made to myself is to make sure that every weekend, I get out on one hike, exploring the area around home, for in nature is where I feel most grounded and most at peace.
As you read this, I invite you to check in with yourself:
How are you really doing? Are you feeling content and sustained in life? Or are you feeling somewhat depleted and exhausted?
Circumstances sometimes make it hard for us to take the kind of significant rest we need. However, we can still make little shifts. What is something little that you can do for yourself to move towards a better balance? This may not seem significant in the moment, but remember that big change comes with little changes sustained over time.
Is there something you need to remove from your life, permanently or temporarily? This might be something challenging that wears down your wellbeing, or it may be something good that just adds one too many things to your life.
Is there something you want to add to your life? Something life-giving or sustaining that has taken a back burner?
If you are struggling, choose one trusted person to open up to. We don’t have to walk this path alone. In fact, I don’t think we are meant to! Even if the person we choose can’t change anything, being able to talk about where we are at and knowing that someone knows and cares can be part of the path towards balance.
If you are feeling a lack of balance and don’t know where to turn, please reach out to someone! If you’re not sure who that might be and want help connecting with a counsellor who is a good fit for you, please reach out. If I am not the right fit, I am committed to help you find someone who is.
Take good care my friends!
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