How we see the world differs by where we're standing. Our elderly family dog, Oli, loves to go for walks. He particularly loves walks that lead to Starbucks! "Squirrel moment" - Years ago we heard a parody titled "Do You Want To Go To Starbucks?" that we still sing to him to this day. Mostly, I think he loves walking to Starbucks because he knows that his favourite baristas love spoiling him with large pup cups (aka Puppacinos).
You can find the link for "Do You Want To Go To Starbucks?" here: https://youtu.be/BQntutOGb3I?si=9KRPmh3y0bWMeVCk
On one of our walks, I got a picture of him looking at me very intently. It got me thinking about what he sees when he looks up. While I look down and see a cute, fuzzy, cuddly pup who loves his whipped cream, he sees a tall being who takes care of him, talks to him lovingly, and smiles in his presence.
As humans, we are used to seeing our perspective and often think that it is the right way of seeing things and that others must see it the same way. We often don't think to question whether our normal is actually as common as our assumptions lead us to believe. We sometimes forget that the way we see things might not be the way everyone else sees them. Where this becomes challenging is when our actions are based on the assumptions we make in our perspective.
In our relationships - friendships, family, romantic, work - one of the key things that can change the direction of communication is to be curious about the other person's world. When we see their world from our perspective, we see it through our filter and through our worldview. If we can be curious about the other's perspective, if we can imagine what might be going on if we were to see the world as they do rather than as we do, this can lead us to communicate in ways that seek to understand, rather than to correct; to validate rather than to judge; to listen rather than just to speak.
This starts by even becoming aware of the reality that we don't all see things exactly the same. I know that sounds so basic! However, the reality is that while we have a cognitive knowledge of this statement, we often miss it in our closest relationships. When we see someone's response to a situation, we often make assumptions about what that response means based on what that would mean if it were our response.
If we can learn to ask questions before drawing conclusions, we will find ourselves growing and changing, we'll find our communication will feel more satisfying, and our relationships can flourish.
Can you allow yourself to lead with curiousity? To ask questions to help you understand? I wonder what richness and depth might be added to our conversations and our relationships if we allow curiosity to help us understand perspective.
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